That "King-thing" is dragged into discussion again and again. Prince Henrik has made remarks about the fact that female consorts are addressed with their spouse's style and male consorts not. I do not agree with him, but undeniably he had a point. In the Netherlands Pieter van Vollenhoven made remarks about that as well: his sons are Princes, his daughters-in-law are addressed as "Princess" but he himself is Mr Van Vollenhoven. Exact the same situation Christopher O'Neill is in, by the way
That Prince Henrik made valid remarks about this schizophrenic situation is Daily Mail-lized as "I want to be King Henrik!" which is just loosing all nuance and sensationalizing it. This "controverse" should not play a role in my humble opinion.
PH has brought up the topic of him becoming a king on numerous occasions, not just a couple of times as a debate-starter.
He has also on numerous occasions expressed his misgivings about not being fully equal to his wife.
- Some might say that he in the holy name of gender equality has a point, but no matter what he cannot be equal to his wife. There can only be one head of state.
That would be the equivalent to the first lady (m/f) in a republic insisting on being equal to the president. That is not possible either.
Also PH has been told in
very clear language by leading politicians that he could forget all about becoming king.
Having ignored that, his persistence in bringing up the subject annoys most people I know of
I think it's more a question of PH being a very conservative man, archaic conservative even, and also a very proud man.
In his self-perception he is the head of the family. The undisputed head of the family.
That position is very important for how he see himself and how he feels others see him.
He can, with difficulty, accept that he is subservient to his wife - at least in public. But he would much prefer to also be equal to his wife in every respect.
I think he feels that by being subservient to his wife, people see him as a lesser man.
It makes it even worse when it comes to Frederik!
Already before his retirement, Frederik as the Crown Prince has constitutional roles which means he steps in directly on behalf of the Queen.
In PH eyes, that is usurping
his position. Frederik, his son,
must be subservient to PH, who is
the patriarch until he dies.
That Frederik steps out in front of his father is in PH's eyes a deep affront, a public humiliation - a son should not usurp his father!
And that I think is also one of the reasons why PH so eagerly sought to officially be equal to his wife.
It's a mindset that is very difficult for me to understand, it's also a mindset I don't respect.
But there are countless stories of fathers trying desperately to keep their sons down.
It's a combination of PH's upbringing and a culture clash, combined with an IMO almost incredible refusal to see things from another perspective.
I've said it before: The most important person in PH's life is himself. - And that I think is one of the keys to understanding him.
Mary will get the title of queen one day all right, but no matter what she will still be in the same position as PH, she can never be equal to her husband. The only difference between the two of them will be their titles. But PH cannot or will not see that.
Psychologically speaking it's actually very fascinating.